“Thriving in All Seasons” – by Tim Storey

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Can you believe it is already December 2010? So much has happened this year in the world, from Whitney Houston’s comeback to financial challenges everywhere. I think the world– like the economy– seems a little fragile, a little nervous, and has lost some of its confidence. It’s amazing when you’re younger you don’t even seem to notice that there are challenges all around you. You just get caught up in doing your own thing and don’t really realize what’s going on around you. As an adult it’s important to pay attention, be in the moment, and realize that there are challenges going on. But always remember that just because there is drama, that doesn’t mean you have to get dramatic.

Since 1994 I’ve been a life coach in Beverly Hills. So I work with actors for a living. Believe me… I understand dramatic people. But because there is drama, it doesn’t mean you have to act it out, or respond to it in a negative way. As long as you’re a live on this planet, there will always be challenges because as the great poem says: “There are times and seasons for everything. Times when things are up, and times are things are down.” You simply have to adjust and learn to thrive in all seasons.

I have seen in dealing with people, there are three things that usually happen when drama occurs: some people get frustrated, some people get intimidated, while others like yourself get motivated.

In the middle of the Great Depression that took place in the 1930’s many great businesses also emerged because people decided to get motivated and rise above the challenges they were facing. When people get frustrated because of difficulties it usually comes out in a variety of ways; Sometimes anger and sometimes depression. If you really pay attention to most people there are so many who look like they have way too much on their minds. They’re caught up in the drama. When people rehearse their dilemma too often it’s not good for the soul and they become weighed down. I have seen the best of the best get frustrated in tough times and become intimidated.

For years I have been a life coach for athletes all over the world; from hockey, basketball, to even cricket players. I have found when an athletes lose their confidence they are in real trouble. Whether you want to call it “swagger” as Jay-Z says, or just plain confidence… you have to have it.

The word confidence means: assurance or conviction. It’s watching Heidi Klum walk down the cat walk with confidence. It’s watching Tiger Woods being many shots down on the final day, but knowing he is still going to win. Yes, confidence that brings that “swagger”, that comes from knowing.

So, the question is what do you know? Do you know that whatever comes your way you are able to overcome it?

I was in Miami, Florida when a hurricane hit. I watched as winds– that were so fierce– uprooted trees and even threw cars across the street. It was an amazing thing to behold. The next day the streets of beautiful Miami were full of debris, stuff was everywhere… I mean everywhere! I noticed that wherever you looked, one thing was still standing… the famous palm trees. You see, Florida is known for their palm trees. Other types of trees had been uprooted no matter how big they were, but the palm trees stayed planted. So, I decided to study the palm tree. I found various facts about the palm trees:

#1- A palm tree goes very deep into the ground as far 914 centimeters deep.

#2- A palm tree has a substance in the root of the tree that causes it to bend and very rarely break. It’s almost like a rubber that’s within the root. A palm tree can be bent way down to the floor and then bounce all the way back. Doesn’t this sound a little like life? Whether it was a breakup in a relationship and you found out he was “just not that into you”, or perhaps challenges with your best friend. Just like that palm tree you found that you run deeper than you thought and somewhere inside yourself you have the ability to keep bouncing back.

#3- The palm tree is known for bringing shade. You see, palm trees most times grow in warm weather, where the climate is hot- and shade is needed. They are all over Miami and Beverly Hills.

When life seems like it’s getting “uprooted” we need to hold our ground and maintain our swagger. Pay attention to those around us who seem to be wilting under the heat of life’s challenges and bring a little shade to them. When you maintain your strength in the midst of some of life’s difficult times you can be a place of rest and shade for someone around you who desperately needs it.

We only have a little time until 2011 arrives, lets finish up strong. Rooted, bouncing back, and bringing shade. Let’s maintain our confidence and swagger and not just try to survive tough times, but know that we are built to thrive in tough times and continue to live our finest life.

Psalms 92:12

My ears are filled with the sounds of promise:
“Good people will prosper like palm trees,
Grow tall like Lebanon cedars;
transplanted to God’s courtyard,
They’ll grow tall in the presence of God,
lithe and green, virile still in old age.”

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“Relationships are Like Socks?” by Tim Storey

“Whenever you’re in conflict with someone, there is one factor that can make the difference between damaging your relationship and deepening it. That factor is attitude.” – William James

I get asked all the time as a Life Coach, what does it take to have an utmost relationship. Let’s be honest. We have all gone through difficult times in relationships. I have some friends who got dumped at prom, many friends who went through an ugly divorce, a lot of friends who feel just plain stuck in what seems to be a horrible relationship.

We see couples all the time at the beach, the mall or the movies who seem surprisingly happy and in love, but we all know that at some point, they will, if they didn’t already, have a fight or disagreement. What makes the difference between bliss in the relationship and feeling like it just isn’t working? Attitude.

Now let’s remind ourselves that it takes two. This means both parties need to take a look at their attitude. This is where many couples find support in a counselor or mediator. Like the old saying, “relationships are like socks, you need two and they should match”, it is necessary to make sure you are on the same road.  This doesn’t mean you have to be identical in your likes and dislikes, but it does mean that you should be both willing to support each other’s goals and dreams because they also fit into yours as well.

Here is an example.  My nephew is married to a wedding planner who’s dream it is to support couples on their special day.  Now, while it is not his dream to do the same, it is however his dream to see his wife happy and fulfilled in her career.  The same can be said for her support of his work as a designer.  They are not two identical people, but rather two people who’s attitude it is to support each other on the journey.  This common ground is the basis for a long, healthy friendship.  Its about providing an environment for others to be their best and vice versa and in doing so you make way for your best.

“When we seek to discover the best in others, we somehow bring out the best in ourselves.” – William Arthur Ward

Living your utmost finest life while being a support for others to do the same is a difficult, but rewarding experience. Remember, it’s not just about you, we were meant to do life together. So whether you are working on better friendships, business relationships, marriage or simply how you interact with your community, remember loving you neighbor as yourself requires both loving yourself by living your life at the utmost level as well as supporting those around you in doing the same.